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    * Also includes a commemorative lantern pin, a symbol of the song "Lanterns", meant to honour the veterans we have lost, and continue to lose, to suicide.

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about

In the early summer of 2004, at the age of 20, I was preparing to begin my career in the Canadian Armed Forces. I was a lost young man, raised by a single mother, searching for some guidance on how I am “supposed to act” as a man. With my parents separated when I was only 3 years old, I did not have the opportunity to see how men behave with their friends, in groups, with loved ones, or even how to treat a lover. I did not know if I was “socially allowed” to cry, express my emotions or even talk about things that were bothering me. I was raised by a very soft and loving hand, that I am eternally grateful for, but at this point I needed to learn the harder side of life.

My only male influences were my grandfather, who was a world war 2 navy Veteran, and my uncle, who was a recently retired tanker. My conclusion was that at least in the military, I could find the type of people and guidance that I was looking for.

“I’ll write when I can” is a song written through the eyes of that young man to his mother, attempting to explain why he must go.

lyrics

I want to thank you, for doing all you can
And for teaching me all the things you have
This flight I’m leaving on is not the one you planned
But I think it’s time for me to fly

I don't know when I'm supposed to cry.
Or talk about the way I feel? How much should I conceal?
Who shows me how to stop being scared and
When will I stop being scared

I’m gotta go now and find out who I am
All that I ask is that you let go of my hand
You know I’ll always love you and I know you understand
I’ll write when I can

credits

from The Guardian Angel Platoon, released November 10, 2021

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The Guardian Angel Platoon Bonshaw, Prince Edward Island

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