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about

Loss has become a very common theme of mine. I lost friends in Afghanistan, I am losing friends at home and I often feel like I am losing myself. There does not seem to be anywhere to turn for help. These thoughts come from a time and space full of hurt, confusion, fear and feeling hopeless.

lyrics

I made it home, just like I said I would. But I don’t know how I feel about being home. I don’t understand. When I am in Afghanistan I want to be home but when I am home I just want to be back in Afghanistan. I don’t like what’s going on over there but I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel like I need to stay there until we finish what we started. I lost some really great friends over there. Noone really talks about that though. I have been told that I have P.T.S.D. I am not really sure what that means but my doctor tells me I should not be working and my boss tells me that P.T.S.D is not real, so if anyone admits to having it then they are fakers and just trying to get time off so they are shamed and kicked out of the military. I am pretty sure it’s just nightmares though. I have trouble sleeping lately and when I do get to sleep I have bad dreams. They gave me some pills for it, so I am sure that if I just take the pills and keep to myself it’ll all work out.

credits

from The Guardian Angel Platoon, released November 10, 2021

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The Guardian Angel Platoon Bonshaw, Prince Edward Island

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