1. |
I'll write when I can
01:52
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I want to thank you, for doing all you can
And for teaching me all the things you have
This flight I’m leaving on is not the one you planned
But I think it’s time for me to fly
I don't know when I'm supposed to cry.
Or talk about the way I feel? How much should I conceal?
Who shows me how to stop being scared and
When will I stop being scared
I’m gotta go now and find out who I am
All that I ask is that you let go of my hand
You know I’ll always love you and I know you understand
I’ll write when I can
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2. |
End of the rainbow
00:57
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Well I went to the recruiting centre dropped to my knees
Then I joined the military and I signed up infantry
And they said There’s a light at the end of the rainbow
And they said young man if you like comping blues
You’ll be in basic in a week straight to Saint Jean Richelieu
And they said there’s a light at the end of the rainbow.
And I graduated basic and I thought I was the shit
But then I went to DP - 1 and then it hit me like a brick
And I said “where the fuck is this light at the end of the rainbow”?
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3. |
Letter 1
02:52
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I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve spent time in Quebec, Ontario, Newfoundland, Main, New Brunswick and Alberta. I get to shoot guns, rockets and throw grenades. I get to play with night vision goggles and thermal cameras, it’s just like in the movies. They do work us hard but we get plenty of time off as well. Every Friday we get to play sports all day. I play volleyball, broomball, I even play hockey now who would have guessed.
Things are much different here than back home on PEI. For one thing, there’s lots of swearing. I've heard entire paragraphs made up of only F-bombs. I have made some really great friends. I would do anything for these guys and I know they would do anything for me.
I’ve just finished my work up training, so I’ll be able to come home for Christmas, then it’s off to Afghanistan. I’m not really sure how I feel about going but it is what I signed up for right?
I know you are scared for me and I wish that I could take that away from you. I’m not scared for me though. I am scared for my brothers and sisters coming over with me and they are scared for me and that is why I know that I am coming back. Because I have an army looking out for me. I won’t be able to call very often but I promise I will every chance I get. I love you and I’ll write when I can.
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4. |
Easter Sunday
06:06
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I cannot help from time to time
But find myself lost in my mind.
I watch the snow turn into sand
It’s Easter Sunday and I’m in Afghanistan.
The heat is climbin’ I start to sweat
I Hear the sounds and taste the smells I can’t forget.
You can see my body, you can hold my hand
But I’m drifting back to Afghanistan.
The radio crackles clear as day
That blast was us, 6 KIA
I hold my breath and wait for the names to be read
But we only get dog tag numbers that don’t make sense
Chorus
I heard Jesus rose Easter Sunday
3 days of rest and then he flew away.
Well I can’t confirm what happened on that holy day.
In 2007 6 men went out that way.
Aaron Williams, Chris Stannix and Brent Poland
All 3 of my roommates, gone just like that.
Donnie Lucas, Dave Greenslade and Kev Kennedy
I laced up my boots with no time to grieve.
It was 24 hours before their names came down
In deafening silence no one made a sound.
But one trembling voice that echoed out of control
Each syllable, like a shovel, digging my hole
Chorus
I heard Jesus rose Easter Sunday
3 days of rest and then he flew away.
And I can’t confirm what happened on that holy day.
In 2007 6 men went this way.
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5. |
Brave & Broken
04:24
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As I look at your face I search it and I find the one
That I stared at in wonder the day I first held you my son
But this face I see here stained with your tears
Is the face of every soldier who's lost
His brother to war and still we ask more
Of our brave and broken ones.
You carried your brother on your shoulder so strong.
In a land that's as foreign to you as the pain in your heart.
As you slow marched him on, for his last journey home
Passed comrades and Brothers in Arms
The world saw you grieve your heart on your sleeve
My brave and broken son.
My brave and broken soldier
With the weight of this war on your shoulder
When your war is done
All the love here at home
Will make you whole once more.
That world full of hate, it was not meant for one such as you.
There are wounds now on your gentle soul for what you've been through.
These scars, they will mark you and shape you for years to come
You carried the weight of a burden too great
For a heart so tender and young.
My brave and broken soldier
With the weight of this war on your shoulder
When your war is done
All the love here at home
Will make you whole once more.
Now you must do what all soldiers do, as duty calls to you again.
Your purpose remains, there is still work to do,
This war cares not for your pain.
Know those that you grieve, they are still there with you
Not beside you but deep in your heart
You must carry on for your boys who are gone
My brave and broken son.
When your war is done
My love’s here at home
My brave and broken son
My brave and broken son.
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6. |
Letter 2
01:33
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I made it home, just like I said I would. But I don’t know how I feel about being home. I don’t understand. When I am in Afghanistan I want to be home but when I am home I just want to be back in Afghanistan. I don’t like what’s going on over there but I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel like I need to stay there until we finish what we started. I lost some really great friends over there. Noone really talks about that though. I have been told that I have P.T.S.D. I am not really sure what that means but my doctor tells me I should not be working and my boss tells me that P.T.S.D is not real, so if anyone admits to having it then they are fakers and just trying to get time off so they are shamed and kicked out of the military. I am pretty sure it’s just nightmares though. I have trouble sleeping lately and when I do get to sleep I have bad dreams. They gave me some pills for it, so I am sure that if I just take the pills and keep to myself it’ll all work out.
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7. |
My mind
01:13
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I dug myself a hole this time
I'm stuck but say I'm doing fine
Something creeping from behind
Or is it just my mind
When your war is done
My love’s here at home
My brave and broken son
My brave and broken son
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8. |
Lanterns
04:04
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The wind blows cold these first days of June
For a love that has left us too soon
Lanterns flicker then yield to the night
As a soldier is taking their life
They shall not grow old, commander will say
But we won't mention them on Remembrance day
It seems no one cares to honour the ones
We lose to the war once they’ve laid down their guns
Laid down their guns
One can't imagine to be so alone
In such times of need so far from home
Then being told you’re not fit to deploy
Souls cast aside like an old broken toy
They shall not grow old, commander will say
But we won't mention them on Remembrance day
For it seems no one cares to honour the ones
We lose to the war once they’ve laid down their guns
Laid down their guns
Left by the pack now forced to release
Eager for freedom but finding no peace
Rest now so foreign to those who have served
As they battle their homelands for what they deserve
They shall not grow old, commander will say
But we won't mention them on Remembrance day
For it seems no one cares to honour the ones
We lose to the war once they’ve laid down their guns
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9. |
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When no one else cared
I knew you'd be there
When you said to me
The places we've been
The state of mind we get in
Freedom's never free
Why didn’t you say goodbye
Was it because you knew I’d try
To find a reason why
To make you change your mind
This time last year
You told me not to fear
It's springtime in the woods
You said I’m so close , close to this issue
It haunts me how I miss you
I wish I'd understood
Why didn’t you say goodbye
Was it because you knew I’d try
To find a reason why
To make you change your mind
Why didn’t you say goodbye
To me before you died
I want to say goodbye
I miss your heart my friend
A saint to service men
There for those in need
My head keeps playing this game
Maybe I’m the one to blame
Were there signs for me to read?
Why didn't you say goodbye
Was it because you knew I’d try
To find a reason why
To make you change your mind
Where do I go from here
The future's so unclear
I'm left with memories
And questions haunting me
Why didn’t you say goodbye
To me before you died
I want to say goodbye
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10. |
Hanging around
02:37
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I can't forgive or forget
My life’s filled with regret
Is it worth hangin’ round this earth
Anymore
Days are hard, nights are long
I don't feel like I belong
Is it worth hangin’ round this earth
Anymore
This morning was a struggle to get out of my bed
I woke up in a tunnel running through my head
Some days I feel there's no choice
but surrender to That voice….
That says it can't be worth hangin’ round this earth
Anymore
I lay here quietly
And I know that you see
That it’s worth hangin’ round this earth
You and me
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11. |
Fly to meet you
02:51
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I can feel you
I can hear you
I wish that
I could be near you
Now you're watching
And waiting
Sending love my way
Your day came up way to fast
One day we’ll only have the past
So go make today last
No need to cry
Next time I see you
I'll fly to meet you
Your day came up way to fast
One day we’ll only have the past
So you gotta make today last
I’m far off dreaming
Searching my mind for
Something to believe in
Until I fly to meet you
I’ll fly to meet you
Your day came up way to fast
One day we’ll only have the past
Today is all we really have
So you gotta make today last
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12. |
Letter 3
02:41
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I’m tired. It seems like every second week I am losing someone I know to their own hand. Suicides, substance abuse and unexplained accidents. What happened to us?
Yesterday we were the strongest and bravest human beings on the planet. Today we are quietly dying off in the shadows. I have so many questions.
Jamie Mcullin loved his kids. Why would he kill himself just before fathers day?
Ronnie Anderson was my section commander, I went where he went. What made him take his life? Is that reason waiting to get me too?
What about Ronnie’s brother Ryan? Was his substance abuse from his own time in Afghanistan? Or from his brother’s suicide? Either way they are both gone now.
Lionel Desmond was one of the most caring, funniest guys I have ever met. I was and still am proud to call him my friend. How does such a loving individual not only kill himself, but his wife, his mother and his daughter?
George Curtis and I were working on making a difference together. Why didn’t he talk to me about what was going on? Why didn’t he reach out? Why didn’t he say goodbye?
I’ve now lost more friends to suicide than I lost during the Afghanistan war….but noone talks about that. These men and women are dying alone and no one is honouring them. Their names will not be displayed on monuments or plaques. We are lucky if they are mentioned in the newspaper.
These questions used to haunt me daily. There were times when I thought I would join them but I believe all of that has changed now. I have an experience, a journey, that I want to share with you.
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13. |
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I've seen a place dark side of the moon
Those meant for Valhalla but taken too soon
There’s no time to rest, no, there's work left to do
Now they form the Guardian Angel Platoon
Either lost to the wars, or wounds that remain
Foreign hands or their own, each fated the same
Watch over your brothers and sisters in pain
And in the dark when they call out go show them the way
I found myself on the top of a LAV
With some very good friends I once knew
Watching them follow on their new path
Forming the Guardian Angel Platoon
Tans, blues and greens traded for white
I could not count them all, no end in sight
No IEDs and no more fire fights
There’s no fear, no pain, just love and light.
Was it just a dream
All I have seen
Or a glimpse of peace shining through
And I see hope in the form of the Guardian Angel Platoon
Hope shining through
Hope shining through
When I woke up, I still felt the glow
The soldiers in white replaced by the snow
That fell through the night letting me know
They’re alright and I’m not alone
Yeah I've seen a place dark side of the moon
Those meant for Valhalla but taken too soon
There's no time to rest there’s work left to do
Now they form the guardian angel platoon
And there’s hope in the guardian angel platoon.
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The Guardian Angel Platoon Bonshaw, Prince Edward Island
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